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By Tony Deyal
The English writer and barrister, John Mortimer, who famously joked about aging, wrote, “The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.” He also added that, “no one should grow old who isn’t ready to appear ridiculous.” That was then. After all, he was born on April 21, 1923, and died at age 85, January 16, 2009. After those days, and John’s jokes, it changed. For example, an older couple sat on their porch to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary. A fairy appeared and offered to grant each of them a wish.
The wife spoke first. She said: “I want to travel around the world with my dear husband.” The fairy lady quickly waved her wand, and immediately two tickets for a luxury world cruise appeared in the wife’s hands. Then it was the husband’s choice. He thought deeply, and after a very hard time of what to do, he looked at his wife and told her flatly, “Well, this is romantic, but my wish is different. I want a wife who is thirty years younger than me.” Immediately the fairy nodded, waved her wand again, and the husband immediately turned into an eighty-five- year- old man!
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humourist, and essayist. He made it clear that, “Age was an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” But as we know, that works only with babies. When the great Don Herrold, an illustrator and cartoonist, said, “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” I told everybody. Some said that “Labour doesn’t end when the baby is born- that’s when it begins.” I also liked Ronald Knox who joked, “A baby is a loud noise at one end and one sense of responsibility at the other.” Others came up with, “I don’t know why women love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.”- “People who may say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”; and eventually, I found out the truth for all of us: “Make no mistake about why these are here- they are here to replace us.” We didn’t realise that “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” That is when it hit the nail on the head!
The phrase “age is just a number” really means that a person’s chronological years do not define their spirit, potential, or limits. Going back to the “babies,” a count of years lived since birth. Moreover, it is the big leaders who make it clear. Here are some of the top leaders like Walt Disney, an American animator and film producer, who made it clear, “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” Then there was Stanislaw Jerzy Lec, a Polish aphorist and poet believe, “Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” Then the great Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, serving from 1861 until his assassination in 1865, knew that “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s life in your years.” Then the great Bernard Baruch, American financier and statesman, said, “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” One of my favourites, George Bruns, an American comedian and humourist, joked, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” But then Kitty O’Neills Collins, a pioneering American daredevil, stuntwoman, and racer known as “the fastest woman in the world” told us all, “Aging seem to be the only available way to live a long life.” As one then said, “Old age isn’t no place for sissies.”
Different people at different times see the “Age” as “Yes”, “No”, or sometimes, “Maybe, perhaps, and who knows may be?” Here are a few who see it differently, and that too is important. In a way, some grab one or, at different times, go for all. First, there is Betty White, an American actress and comedian, who puts it at a different level: “Getting older is not something to be afraid of. It’s a privilege.” Ingrid Bergman, a Swedish actress whose career spanned five decades, was clear: “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better.” Frank Lloyd Wright Sr., who was an American architect, designer, writer, and educator, enjoyed every day, kept it short: “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” Then there was Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, an American professional baseball pitcher who played in Negro league baseball and Major League Baseball, made it clear, “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!” then the George Burns, an American comedian and humourist put it from his view, “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.”
Last week, I was 81 and wanted to know what others at my age would think. I first read and enjoyed what one of the greats, Jane Fonda, who spanned several genres over seven decades of film and television. She made it clear for the rest of us, “Age isn’t so much chronology. You can be very old at 84, which is my age, but you can also be very young.” I loved it. Then Ellen Kathleen Pompeo, who is best known for playing Dr Meredith Grey, the title character on the ABC medical drama television series Grey’s Anatomy, made it clear, “Age isn’t so much chronology. You can be very old at 84, which is my age, but you can also be very young.” With three more years to know how well I would be, I went to the great Beyoncé, singer, songwriter, actress, and businesswoman, and she was very clear on what she felt: “The more mature I become, the more I understand and the deeper my joy grows.” It is really the women who have a better sense of the future. So here are a few more. First was Melissa Ann McCarthy, an American actress, comedian, and producer who came up with an important truth: “I know myself better than I ever have. I don’t worry about what the perception is … as you get older, you can step into that and not be worrying about it.” And for one who is an American singer, songwriter, actress, dancer, and businesswoman, Jennifer Lopez, “Now women are realising that we are at our best as we get older. We are attractive, and we are more interesting, and we are more self-assured than we were ten years before.”
But then I asked what about men like me who are wondering if, having reached 81, we would go for 82? This is what we believe we should say to others: “My back goes out more often than I do.”; “I am not getting old. I am much marinating.” – “At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathtub.” – “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything at all until noon, and then it is time for my nap.”; and, “You know you are getting old when you stoop down to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you are down there.”
*Tony Deyal would like to be like the man whose doctor said, “Well, you are in great shape for an 80-year-old.” The man replied, “I should be, I am 90.”
